Agitated.

Yesterday was Monday. Mondays have a reputation of being difficult for many. I dragged myself into work and feelings of frustration lingered all day. I felt the old familiar feeling of pressure and the feeling of 'No matter how much I accomplish, I can't keep up with all I have to do.' I was given a tedious project at work with an unrealistic deadline. I expressed the fact that I would work on it and I would let my supervisor know when it is completed. The preferred answer here would've have been a promise to complete it that day. From past experience, I knew this was unrealistic and I can only do the best I can. This is still an uncomfortable part for me. I worked on the project all day and a headache ensued. Frustration continued. My face started to hurt slightly. The main gist of this task was to clean up pages and pages of tenant information in excel. The initial information is pulled from a system by another department. We are told that we should obtain this data from this 'other' department so that there is one version of the truth....so that we receive accurate information. The problem is the data comes to me in a scrambled, sloppy way and with deadline pressure added, I have to fix it all. Yesterday, I kept thinking of how irritating it to me when others provide sloppy work and Melissa has to spend hours cleaning it up. (I have tried before to make suggestions to improve the process. I have questionned the lack of efficiency. This was not well received and the backwards processes continue.) I did not complete the task yesterday. I did the best I could and I left for the day. Even with the many thoughts of all that is left for me to do, in both my work and day to day personal life, I decided to order take out for dinner, watch some TV and go to bed early. I realized that part of my agitation is this phase I am in. I am building my own business and that takes time and energy. I am excited to be healthy again so I can express creativity and blossom again. I have so many exciting thoughts and next steps to see goals accomplished yet in the meantime, I feel trapped and stifled much of the work day. Today is Tuesday. I feel rested and ready to tackle this ominous project again. I expect to finish it in the next few hours. I found a new perspective today. In my humble opinion, I am damn good at solving problems and fixing layouts and verifying accuracy of data. So although the subject matter is dry to me, I will feel honored today that I can do this task with excellence. My supervisor called out sick and her boss ran to me to handle other tasks too today. I feel confident and wiser than before. I will continue to keep my wellness as top priority throughout this process. Stay tuned for exciting updates on my cookie business and my Arbonne International business =o)

Loved Ones

Some days feel so full. I would have liked to blog more over the recent months. I am still on this journey. Some days I fall. Some days I feel strong and enthusiastic. If there is a time when you wonder what's going on with "This Honeybee", you can be assured that I'm probably going through the ups and downs of life just like you. I want to continue to build my reader base, and be an encouragement to whoever crosses paths. Please share this blog. My learning to make healthy self care a priority is still in process. My cookie business is coming together, slow and steady. I am currently working my full time draining job while I also work part time on building my fortune. Arbonne is a tool for this and I am excited to be a part. I have so much opportunity and information to offer. For now, let's take a few moments to soak in this inspiration from my sweet niece Leah: One day last year, Leah and I were spending the afternoon together. We went to the mall and created stuffed animals. Then we went out to eat and enjoy icecream sundaes. Leah was only 2 at the time. As we were driving back to Leah's home, she happily said, "I can't wait to see Mommy and Daddy. I know they miss me and they will be so glad to see me!" Think about that. To know at such a young age that you are so loved is precious. There was no arrogance in Leah's statement. Just love. Sure enough, when we got to her home, she was hugged and welcomed back by Mommy and Daddy. Her eyes lit up with joy and when she entered the room, the eyes of her Mommy and Daddy lit up too. As I have been healing, emotionally and physically, it became very clear how some people take from me and they leave me feeling drained while others give to me and I feel loved and recharged as a result. We have some say in who we spend our time with. I encourage you to spend time with the ones who make your eyes light up. Who are the ones who you bring joy too when you enter the room? Let's cherish the beauty and strength that can come from loving. Thank you LEAH for always making my eyes light up and for being delighted to see me as well!